Impressions: Umbrella Chronicles

They escaped to the mansion, where they thought it was safe.
Yet . . .

Let's journey back, you and I. Back to that long-ago year of 1996. Back to that fateful day when S.T.A.R.S Bravo team's helicopter went down into Raccoon forest, and Alpha team was sent in to find them. That's what Umbrella Chronicles does for us, takes us back, and shows us everything that went on behind the scenes.

Apparently, what happened behind the scenes is Albert Wesker decided to get shit done. Pretty much everything that has ever occured with the words "Resident Evil" involved, Albert Wesker has been there. Scheming, and chortling, and eating scones. Oh sure, you might dabble into scenarios featuring Chris Redfield or Jill Valentine, but really, Umbrella Chronicles is all about da Wesker, and his antics. He's come back from the dead, he's arm-wrestled tyrants, and he's done more Keanu-Reaves shit than anyone else in video gaming.

But enough about Albert, let's talk about game play. Umbrella Chronicles is a RAIL-SHOOTER, and depending on your upbringing, those words either fill you with dread, or you don't give a shit. Basically what this entails is the game decides where you walk and how your head is turned, and it's up to you to dispense bullets. And there are a lot of bullets to dispense. Featuring the iconic Resident Evil selection of Shotguns, SMGs, Magnums, and 3 different flavor of Rocket Launchers, you'll never run out of nifty ways to destroy the undead. You're standard pistol never runs out of ammo, and if you're hardcore (or Brian Lee), that's all you'll need to take down 80 Zombies and more bio-engineered freaks of nature than you can shake a stick (or a Wii-mote ZING) at.

In all seriousness, I like this game quite a bit. It's the kind of game you can just sit down and play for 10 minutes without too much commitment, since none of the levels would ever take longer than that. Just zip through the mansion or an underground lab, and see if you can get that A rank up to an S. There's also a shit-ton of stuff to collect, form files, to little doodads that serve no purpose other than increasing your sense of self-importance. Oh, and while this game is entertaining single player, the co-op is off the chain. Playing this with a buddy, while both of you yell at shit flying at the screen, and trying to grab all the phat lewt first, is at least 5.3 times as fun as just going solo. Twice the bullets dispense = Twice the fun.

Overall, this hain't a bad game, and considering it's for the Wii makes it a must-buy, considering that system only has about 5 good games (I'm so controversial). If you're a Resident Evil fan, it's more of what you love, only in a different package. Less backtracking and item-box management, and more bullets. Oh, and there's a scenario where you play as HUNK. That's an automatic A++.