Number Two

The second game on my list I will be completing is Suikoden for the Sony Playstation.

Impressions: Twilight Princess

It's The Legend of Zelda and it's really rad! Those creatures from Ganon are pretty bad!

Some people claim that the Zelda series is a stagnant pool of endlessly repeated concepts and game play. I say those people are assholes who have to nitpick everything they see in an effort to try and look sophisticated. You can call me a mindless drone if you like, but I hope the Zelda series keeps on keeping on until either the planet explodes or I'm dead.

So yeah, you once again play as the Hero of Time, sometimes known as Link (depending on how creative you get at the file creation screen). He goes around kicking ass and collecting rupees, and going into dungeons to find monsters 8 times bigger than him just so he can kick them in the nuts. He gets a bow and a boomerang and a hookshot (clawshot) and a Master Sword etc.

Things do get mixed up though, as a new form of game play is presented: Wolf Mode. At certain points in the game (and eventually at will), you become a wolf. You have all kinds of nifty wolf-like abilities, such as smelling shit and bitting shit and digging shit up. If you ever wanted to live your fantasies of running around outside chasing people and then digging holes in your yard, this a pretty good outlet.

Also, the Link in this game is a complete bad ass. Don't get me wrong, I've always had a fondness for the Links of the past (I didn't even mean to make that joke, but damn if it isn't fucking BRILLIANT), but they were kinda limited in combat prowess. You had the standard sword swing, and sometimes you could hold the button down to make your sword go SHING and then spin around. The Link from Twilight Princess however is a ninja commando from hell. He does all kinds of crazy kick ass shit, like just appearing behind you and cutting your kidneys out. I didn't even learn some of the sword skills available, but if I had to speculate, I'd say they'd involve cutting Death Mountain in half and then throwing it at the enemy.

So yeah, The Legend of Zelda is a great series, and Twilight Princess is a great game. I'd recommend it to anyone who has ever enjoyed a Zelda game, or who ever found themselves humming the "do-dooo do-doo-doo-da-dooooooo" over world theme in their heads. As for the pretentious critics, ya'll should go play Halo Gear Solid of War or whatever the cool kids do.


Additional Note: There's just something about Midna that is kind of seductive. It must be them child-birthing hips . . .

Twilight Princess Completed.

35 days.

That's how long it took my sorry ass to complete Twilight Princess, the FIRST game on the damn list. At this rate, I'll be dead and buried before I complete the list.