Progress Report: Disgaea 2

So yeah . . .

I really am playing Disgaea 2, just at a VERY relaxed pace. Seriously. There's been a lot of shit going on in the real world we all inhabit, and it's kinda slowed me down. Also, I am a lazy son of a bitch. Don't you judge me, with your eyes@!!!!

But anyway, I'll keep on keeping on, and y'all keep on waiting (with baited breath, I assume) for the conclusion of this here game, I reckon. Also, corned beef hash.

Number Four

The fourth game on my list I will be completing is Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories, for the Playstation 2.

Impressions: Umbrella Chronicles

They escaped to the mansion, where they thought it was safe.
Yet . . .

Let's journey back, you and I. Back to that long-ago year of 1996. Back to that fateful day when S.T.A.R.S Bravo team's helicopter went down into Raccoon forest, and Alpha team was sent in to find them. That's what Umbrella Chronicles does for us, takes us back, and shows us everything that went on behind the scenes.

Apparently, what happened behind the scenes is Albert Wesker decided to get shit done. Pretty much everything that has ever occured with the words "Resident Evil" involved, Albert Wesker has been there. Scheming, and chortling, and eating scones. Oh sure, you might dabble into scenarios featuring Chris Redfield or Jill Valentine, but really, Umbrella Chronicles is all about da Wesker, and his antics. He's come back from the dead, he's arm-wrestled tyrants, and he's done more Keanu-Reaves shit than anyone else in video gaming.

But enough about Albert, let's talk about game play. Umbrella Chronicles is a RAIL-SHOOTER, and depending on your upbringing, those words either fill you with dread, or you don't give a shit. Basically what this entails is the game decides where you walk and how your head is turned, and it's up to you to dispense bullets. And there are a lot of bullets to dispense. Featuring the iconic Resident Evil selection of Shotguns, SMGs, Magnums, and 3 different flavor of Rocket Launchers, you'll never run out of nifty ways to destroy the undead. You're standard pistol never runs out of ammo, and if you're hardcore (or Brian Lee), that's all you'll need to take down 80 Zombies and more bio-engineered freaks of nature than you can shake a stick (or a Wii-mote ZING) at.

In all seriousness, I like this game quite a bit. It's the kind of game you can just sit down and play for 10 minutes without too much commitment, since none of the levels would ever take longer than that. Just zip through the mansion or an underground lab, and see if you can get that A rank up to an S. There's also a shit-ton of stuff to collect, form files, to little doodads that serve no purpose other than increasing your sense of self-importance. Oh, and while this game is entertaining single player, the co-op is off the chain. Playing this with a buddy, while both of you yell at shit flying at the screen, and trying to grab all the phat lewt first, is at least 5.3 times as fun as just going solo. Twice the bullets dispense = Twice the fun.

Overall, this hain't a bad game, and considering it's for the Wii makes it a must-buy, considering that system only has about 5 good games (I'm so controversial). If you're a Resident Evil fan, it's more of what you love, only in a different package. Less backtracking and item-box management, and more bullets. Oh, and there's a scenario where you play as HUNK. That's an automatic A++.

Umbrella Chronicles completed.

I'm doing better, since this one only took me a week. Of course, the game probably would only take 6 hours to "beat" if you sat down and tanked through it, but that isn't how I roll. I wanted to squeeze every drop of lore I could out of this beast.

Progress Report: Umbrella Chronicles

Me and Chris stayed up until 6:30 AM this morning playing the shit out of this game. It's a pretty cool game solo, but it's an awesome game co-op. I just need to finish up the single-player only missions now, and I'll be on my way.

Number Three

The third game on my list I will be completing is Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles, for the Nintendo Wii.

Impressions: Suikoden

Gather the 108 Stars of Destiny . . .

Throughout the years, I've heard quite a few people mention the Suikoden series, and it's excellence. Actually, I've only really heard them discussing Suikoden II, with nary a word spoken about the other games in the series. Seeing how a copy of Suikoden II will run you between $50-$100 on ebay, and I purchased my copy of the original Suikoden from SEARS for 10 bucks, I'd have to say I'll stick to the original.

Any fan of Japanese developed Role-Playing games will immediately feel familiar with Suikoden. You play as a brash young warrior with something to prove, serving an Empire, which you eventually learn is corrupt and generally not very pleasant. So you set out, wandering the world, fighting random battles, gaining XP and cash-monies which you shall put towards better gear, so that you may fight more difficult random battles, etc. It's pretty standard stuff, and if that style of game appeals to you, then you should be happy with the way this game is executed.


The big drawing point of Suikoden is the legend of the 108 stars of destiny, which is based on some ancient Chinese story or some-such. What this means in the game is that there are 108 characters out and about in the world, and it's your job to find them and convince them to join your resistance. This ranges from characters that are part of the plot and are automatically recruited, to obscure ones hiding out there behind bushes and shit, that no-man would stumble upon without game-faqs. It isn't necessary to find all 108 to complete the game, however, the more you find the more pimp your castle gets. so it is well worth seeking them out.

While you might not want to put every individual you recruit in your active fighting party (trust me, that random farmer with a rake planting turnips is not as useful as a battle-hardened warrior who can engulf enemies in balls of flame,) they still find ways to be helpful around your castle. For instance, they build elevators to help you get up and down floors quicker, run shops and inns, and even let you gamble. The drawback to such a large character pool is that all but a few select story characters fall victim to Chrono Cross Syndrome. This means that in the few minutes before you recruit them, they have strong opinions to express, and rich, detailed lives to lead. But as soon as you get them back to the castle, they are content to stand in one room by themselves not speaking out for the rest of their days.

Another cool feature of Suikoden are the different types of battles. Throughout the game, you will find yourself pitted in one on one duels. These play out like rock-paper-scissors affairs, and you must carefully read each of your opponent's moves to respond correctly if you hope to survive. Also spread throughout the game are large scale army battles, in which your Liberation Army must wipe out the imperial forces, in order to gain entry and take down the leaders within. These also follow a rock-paper-scissors scheme, but once you start recruiting special units like Strategist and Ninjas, it can tip the scales in your favor.

Overall, Suikoden isn't a bad game, considering how early it came out in the original playstation's lifespan. It deals well with the limitations of the system, with some cool 3-D in battles effects and nice sprite-based graphics. The music is catchy too, with both up-beat battle themes, and slower tunes during dramatic plot moments. Overall, I'd say it's worth playing through, especially for only 10 bucks.

Suikoden Completed.

35 Days must be the magic number for me, because that is how many it took for me to complete Suikoden. In my defense, it is a JRPG, and thus requires lots of grindan (actually, Suikoden requires less grindan than most JRPGs, but still . . .)

Progress Report: Suikoden

I've been playing Suikoden quite a bit in the past few days, but being a J-RPG, there's a lot to get through. All kinds of walking around and random battling and such. Fret not though, concerned reader, for I am still diligently marching towards this games conclusion, which is but a stepping stone in my overall goal.

Number Two

The second game on my list I will be completing is Suikoden for the Sony Playstation.

Impressions: Twilight Princess

It's The Legend of Zelda and it's really rad! Those creatures from Ganon are pretty bad!

Some people claim that the Zelda series is a stagnant pool of endlessly repeated concepts and game play. I say those people are assholes who have to nitpick everything they see in an effort to try and look sophisticated. You can call me a mindless drone if you like, but I hope the Zelda series keeps on keeping on until either the planet explodes or I'm dead.

So yeah, you once again play as the Hero of Time, sometimes known as Link (depending on how creative you get at the file creation screen). He goes around kicking ass and collecting rupees, and going into dungeons to find monsters 8 times bigger than him just so he can kick them in the nuts. He gets a bow and a boomerang and a hookshot (clawshot) and a Master Sword etc.

Things do get mixed up though, as a new form of game play is presented: Wolf Mode. At certain points in the game (and eventually at will), you become a wolf. You have all kinds of nifty wolf-like abilities, such as smelling shit and bitting shit and digging shit up. If you ever wanted to live your fantasies of running around outside chasing people and then digging holes in your yard, this a pretty good outlet.

Also, the Link in this game is a complete bad ass. Don't get me wrong, I've always had a fondness for the Links of the past (I didn't even mean to make that joke, but damn if it isn't fucking BRILLIANT), but they were kinda limited in combat prowess. You had the standard sword swing, and sometimes you could hold the button down to make your sword go SHING and then spin around. The Link from Twilight Princess however is a ninja commando from hell. He does all kinds of crazy kick ass shit, like just appearing behind you and cutting your kidneys out. I didn't even learn some of the sword skills available, but if I had to speculate, I'd say they'd involve cutting Death Mountain in half and then throwing it at the enemy.

So yeah, The Legend of Zelda is a great series, and Twilight Princess is a great game. I'd recommend it to anyone who has ever enjoyed a Zelda game, or who ever found themselves humming the "do-dooo do-doo-doo-da-dooooooo" over world theme in their heads. As for the pretentious critics, ya'll should go play Halo Gear Solid of War or whatever the cool kids do.


Additional Note: There's just something about Midna that is kind of seductive. It must be them child-birthing hips . . .

Twilight Princess Completed.

35 days.

That's how long it took my sorry ass to complete Twilight Princess, the FIRST game on the damn list. At this rate, I'll be dead and buried before I complete the list.

Progress Report: Twilight Princess

I am still currently completing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. I am a big fan of the Zelda series, and so far I am really liking this one. The combat is more engaging, the art style is great, and I like the whole wolf/human duality to the game play. Hopefully I will have more time available in the upcoming days to dedicate to this game.

Number One

The first game on my list I will be completing is The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for the Nintendo Gamecube

Die Liste

Alright, here we go, the list:

PS2

Dragon Quest VIII
Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
Sly Cooper
Sly 2
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Final Fantasy XII
Kingdom Hearts
Romancing SaGa
Unlimited SaGa
Dark Cloud 2
Disgaea 2
Armored Core 2
Shinobi


PS1

Legend of Dragoon
Breath of Fire III
Breath of Fire IV
Suikoden
Parasite Eve II
Brave Fencer Musashi
SaGa Frontier 2
Chrono Cross
Wild 9

Wii

Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles

Gamecube

Metroid Prime
Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Resident Evil Zero
Killer 7

XBOX 360

Grand Theft Auto IV
Halo 3
Crackdown
Lost Planet
Gears of War
Oblivion
Call of Duty 4

XBOX

Splinter Cell


The list starts with Playstation games. I have completed all Super Nintendo and Nintendo 64 games that I currently own. I have omitted the NES, simply because I own the game Hydlide, and I will NEVER sit down and attempt to complete it. Ever.

The Initiation of a Legend

I have too many unbeaten games.

You are probably thinking "I do say, but I scarcely believe such a thing possible!"

It's true though, I have simply acquired games at a faster rate than I find myself completing them. Thus, in an effort to remedy this situation (and because I am too broke to obtain any new ones), I have dedicated myself to completing every unfinished game I currently own.

I have decided to keep a log of this event, and what better medium to utilize than the internet? It is a magical place where anyone can create of page of useless information, and someone will inevitably read it. So join me, if you would, and maybe you will find yourself delving into the lost regions of gaming you left behind yesteryear.