Progress Report: Disgaea 2

So yeah . . .

I really am playing Disgaea 2, just at a VERY relaxed pace. Seriously. There's been a lot of shit going on in the real world we all inhabit, and it's kinda slowed me down. Also, I am a lazy son of a bitch. Don't you judge me, with your eyes@!!!!

But anyway, I'll keep on keeping on, and y'all keep on waiting (with baited breath, I assume) for the conclusion of this here game, I reckon. Also, corned beef hash.

Number Four

The fourth game on my list I will be completing is Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories, for the Playstation 2.

Impressions: Umbrella Chronicles

They escaped to the mansion, where they thought it was safe.
Yet . . .

Let's journey back, you and I. Back to that long-ago year of 1996. Back to that fateful day when S.T.A.R.S Bravo team's helicopter went down into Raccoon forest, and Alpha team was sent in to find them. That's what Umbrella Chronicles does for us, takes us back, and shows us everything that went on behind the scenes.

Apparently, what happened behind the scenes is Albert Wesker decided to get shit done. Pretty much everything that has ever occured with the words "Resident Evil" involved, Albert Wesker has been there. Scheming, and chortling, and eating scones. Oh sure, you might dabble into scenarios featuring Chris Redfield or Jill Valentine, but really, Umbrella Chronicles is all about da Wesker, and his antics. He's come back from the dead, he's arm-wrestled tyrants, and he's done more Keanu-Reaves shit than anyone else in video gaming.

But enough about Albert, let's talk about game play. Umbrella Chronicles is a RAIL-SHOOTER, and depending on your upbringing, those words either fill you with dread, or you don't give a shit. Basically what this entails is the game decides where you walk and how your head is turned, and it's up to you to dispense bullets. And there are a lot of bullets to dispense. Featuring the iconic Resident Evil selection of Shotguns, SMGs, Magnums, and 3 different flavor of Rocket Launchers, you'll never run out of nifty ways to destroy the undead. You're standard pistol never runs out of ammo, and if you're hardcore (or Brian Lee), that's all you'll need to take down 80 Zombies and more bio-engineered freaks of nature than you can shake a stick (or a Wii-mote ZING) at.

In all seriousness, I like this game quite a bit. It's the kind of game you can just sit down and play for 10 minutes without too much commitment, since none of the levels would ever take longer than that. Just zip through the mansion or an underground lab, and see if you can get that A rank up to an S. There's also a shit-ton of stuff to collect, form files, to little doodads that serve no purpose other than increasing your sense of self-importance. Oh, and while this game is entertaining single player, the co-op is off the chain. Playing this with a buddy, while both of you yell at shit flying at the screen, and trying to grab all the phat lewt first, is at least 5.3 times as fun as just going solo. Twice the bullets dispense = Twice the fun.

Overall, this hain't a bad game, and considering it's for the Wii makes it a must-buy, considering that system only has about 5 good games (I'm so controversial). If you're a Resident Evil fan, it's more of what you love, only in a different package. Less backtracking and item-box management, and more bullets. Oh, and there's a scenario where you play as HUNK. That's an automatic A++.

Umbrella Chronicles completed.

I'm doing better, since this one only took me a week. Of course, the game probably would only take 6 hours to "beat" if you sat down and tanked through it, but that isn't how I roll. I wanted to squeeze every drop of lore I could out of this beast.

Progress Report: Umbrella Chronicles

Me and Chris stayed up until 6:30 AM this morning playing the shit out of this game. It's a pretty cool game solo, but it's an awesome game co-op. I just need to finish up the single-player only missions now, and I'll be on my way.

Number Three

The third game on my list I will be completing is Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles, for the Nintendo Wii.

Impressions: Suikoden

Gather the 108 Stars of Destiny . . .

Throughout the years, I've heard quite a few people mention the Suikoden series, and it's excellence. Actually, I've only really heard them discussing Suikoden II, with nary a word spoken about the other games in the series. Seeing how a copy of Suikoden II will run you between $50-$100 on ebay, and I purchased my copy of the original Suikoden from SEARS for 10 bucks, I'd have to say I'll stick to the original.

Any fan of Japanese developed Role-Playing games will immediately feel familiar with Suikoden. You play as a brash young warrior with something to prove, serving an Empire, which you eventually learn is corrupt and generally not very pleasant. So you set out, wandering the world, fighting random battles, gaining XP and cash-monies which you shall put towards better gear, so that you may fight more difficult random battles, etc. It's pretty standard stuff, and if that style of game appeals to you, then you should be happy with the way this game is executed.


The big drawing point of Suikoden is the legend of the 108 stars of destiny, which is based on some ancient Chinese story or some-such. What this means in the game is that there are 108 characters out and about in the world, and it's your job to find them and convince them to join your resistance. This ranges from characters that are part of the plot and are automatically recruited, to obscure ones hiding out there behind bushes and shit, that no-man would stumble upon without game-faqs. It isn't necessary to find all 108 to complete the game, however, the more you find the more pimp your castle gets. so it is well worth seeking them out.

While you might not want to put every individual you recruit in your active fighting party (trust me, that random farmer with a rake planting turnips is not as useful as a battle-hardened warrior who can engulf enemies in balls of flame,) they still find ways to be helpful around your castle. For instance, they build elevators to help you get up and down floors quicker, run shops and inns, and even let you gamble. The drawback to such a large character pool is that all but a few select story characters fall victim to Chrono Cross Syndrome. This means that in the few minutes before you recruit them, they have strong opinions to express, and rich, detailed lives to lead. But as soon as you get them back to the castle, they are content to stand in one room by themselves not speaking out for the rest of their days.

Another cool feature of Suikoden are the different types of battles. Throughout the game, you will find yourself pitted in one on one duels. These play out like rock-paper-scissors affairs, and you must carefully read each of your opponent's moves to respond correctly if you hope to survive. Also spread throughout the game are large scale army battles, in which your Liberation Army must wipe out the imperial forces, in order to gain entry and take down the leaders within. These also follow a rock-paper-scissors scheme, but once you start recruiting special units like Strategist and Ninjas, it can tip the scales in your favor.

Overall, Suikoden isn't a bad game, considering how early it came out in the original playstation's lifespan. It deals well with the limitations of the system, with some cool 3-D in battles effects and nice sprite-based graphics. The music is catchy too, with both up-beat battle themes, and slower tunes during dramatic plot moments. Overall, I'd say it's worth playing through, especially for only 10 bucks.